Current status: Dealing with an overload of thoughts and indecision.
I should stop procrastinating and start doing what I must do, or else I might have no future (I can be a bit dramatic, can’t help it). I’ve been writing in my agenda, these past 3 to 4 weeks, stuff that need to be done, menial things, everyday things and super important things that I have to do or…I don’t want to think of the ‘or‘ part, because it makes me anxious and stressed, and I need to stay motivated.
It’s not exactly procrastinating, it’s more like ‘making excuses and doing other stuff/postponing‘ (if that explains anything).
I’ve done the everyday things and menial things in my agenda, but I keep postponing most of the important things and I feel awful about it, it’s a slow process starting and actually doing stuff. I want to say I have a hard time because I don’t know what it is that I want exactly (I admire people who know exactly what they want)…Not that I’m completely blind as to what I want to do, but the vision in my head is too vague right now and that’s scary.
I should concentrate on figuring out where I see myself in 6 months, a year, and even 2 years so I have less vague goals. Growing pains.
So I’ve been doing things and making my to do lists longer, avoiding the things that I really should be doing, which are related to networking, researching and making decisions basically (sort of). Those things seem simple, but I still struggle with them.
While doing other stuff I’ve rediscovered and discovered new things though, and I am kind of forced to do stuff to compensate (so I don’t feel as disappointed in my lack of vision), I’ve even begun to practice some guitar and drawing, so that’s a positive side to me avoiding/postponing the other stuff I should also start working on.
I’m writing this way too late, or early if you will, 2 am…these thoughts of not knowing what I will be doing in the future are consuming me.
Anyways, peace and positive vibes.